4 Optimization Pros Critique an HP Landing Page

by Kathryn Aragon

Last updated on April 3rd, 2018

We tend to think that Big Business, with all its resources, has a big advantage when it comes to marketing.

But today, we’re challenging that assumption by asking four conversion optimization experts to critique a landing page by HP.

HP begins the campaign with an ad placed at the bottom of a customer email. Click through to the landing page, and you’re offered the chance to win a trip for two to the Indy 500.

Let’s take a look at the ad… and what our CRO experts have to say about it.

(Click on the image to see an enlarged version.)

hp-officejet

Here’s what our conversion experts had to say about this landing page.

Naomi Niles, ShiftFWD

Naomi Niles, Intuitive DesignWhat do you like about the Landing Page Optimization on this page?

This is a REALLY great example of message matching from the ad to the landing page. Not only did they match the headline text, they also matched the photo and look and feel. Well done!

I also like that the landing page is just dedicated to the contest. There’s no other promotional information stuffed in except for a few inconspicuous links in the top navigation area.

What would you change or test on this landing page?

The main challenge I found was figuring out where to start. I could see the top part of the page, but I wouldn’t be sure if I had to sign-in to Linkedin first. The LinkedIn sign-in link is actually pretty small in comparison with the rest. A bigger login button and a step-by-step indicator or arrows pointing down would help a lot with making everything more clear.

I also see the sweepstakes rules under the LinkedIn button, but I couldn’t find an easy way to find a privacy statement. I would like to know exactly how much information I’m sharing by entering into the contest and where my answers are posted publicly.

~ Naomi Niles, ShiftFWD

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Ian Rhodes, Rhodes Consultancy

ian-rhodesWhat do you like about the Landing Page Optimization on this page?

Great use of ‘hero shot’ imagery. The printer represents speed of use – perfectly presented by a HP sponsored Indy Car hurtling around a corner. Printer speed accredited by the Guinness Book of Records. What more could I ask for?

Great use of social integration with ‘answers’ presented by other registrants. I get the feeling I can learn about other people’s app preferences as well as having a chance of winning a trip for two to Indy.

What may be viewed as a complex competition entry page is simplified by the use of grey tones to push focus towards the registration form.

A very clear, high-impact landing page.

What would you change or test on this landing page?

I’d certainly look at testing the original call to entry within the email itself. “Start Here” is quite generic alongside the other race terminologies used in the content – “move faster,” “speed all the way” and “accelerate your chances.” I can feel my need to enter the competition redlining… but I’m left with a whimpering “start here.” I’m sure a “take your place on the grid” or similar messaging would be more appropriate based on the context.

The landing page itself has two “sign in with Linkedin” buttons without actually explaining why, or the benefit. I understand the reason once I see the “Latest Answers on Linkedin” box, but that’s after the key entry form. I’m not clicking “sign in with Linkedin” until I know the reason why. At this stage I’d test a one-liner quickly explaining the need to sign in and maybe further endorsing the fact I’ll be reminded each day of my next upcoming question.

I’m also left a little confused with the actual “question” and “answer” scenario. Until I scroll down to see the other “answers” I’m left struggling whether the “answer” is hidden somewhere on the page. I’d test the use of “Which of your own Mobile Apps…” to direct the question so that I know I’m answering in my own opinion rather than looking for the “correct answer.”

~ Ian Rhodes, Rhodes Consultancy

♦♦♦

Brian Massey, Conversion Sciences

Brian Massey, Conversion ScientistWhat do you like about the Landing Page Optimization on this page?

This page/ad is a branding and engagement ad, and does these tasks pretty well.

The contest offers a quick, low-cost way to engage and look smart. The social feedback is a great way to use social proof to get readers to act.

This ad has a lot going for it, but HP can’t get its branding out of the way.

What would you change or test on this landing page?

The old saying goes, “People only watch racing ads for the accidents.” This ad may not make pole position because it goes in too many directions.

  • Branding (or “posing”) headline will flash by in a blur. Cool car, though. It might save the day.
  • Contest offer in fine print below headline. This is the real draw, but it’s easy to miss with a cool car sitting next to it.
  • It appears that HP wants to show off its printers during your pit-stop at the bottom half of the page.

The design pit crew put the wrong wheels on the car. They buried the important stuff.

Test making the offer the boldest part of the ad: “Win an OfficeJet Pro X every week just by helping your neighbor.”

Test getting rid of the question circles. They are confusing and don’t help me complete the action.

Test a claim that I believe. A printer is not going to accelerate my business.

~ Brian Massey, Conversion Sciences

♦♦♦

Justin Rondeau, WhichTestWon

Justin Rondeau, Which Test WonWhat do you like about the Landing Page Optimization on this page?

Yay! Our first email landing page test. My initial background was in email, so I am excited about this one.

I love the consistency of the imagery from the email to the landing page.

I am also a fan of the use of social media, showing the answers of others gives this page a much more social feel.

What would you change or test on this landing page?

The text is really hard to read in the header. There is busy imagery, and white text is generally hard to read. Also, there is just a lot of text to read. So this page is straining my eyes and also making me strain my eyes through a long paragraph.

I think this page is a bit too complex for its own good. The point of this page is to get people to answer the questions, but the questions aren’t being featured as well as they could. The large hero image and disturbing white text is taking precedent over the main focal point of the page.

I think they should move the questions up into the header, have a progress tracker for questions (the page makes me assume they had to answer at least 5 questions in one sitting). This would get the important information above the fold, simplify the page, and get a user involved immediately without having to excessively search the page.

~ Justin Rondeau, WhichTestWon

♦♦♦

What about you?

As you can see, even with all their resources, big advertising has room for improvement.

What pros and cons do you see in HPs ad and landing page? Any ideas for how these lessons can improve your own landing pages?

2 Comments

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Kathryn Aragon

Kathryn Aragon is the former editor of The Daily Egg. She's a content strategist, consultant, and author of The Business Blog Handbook. Learn more at KathrynAragon.com. Follow her on Twitter.

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  1. August 16, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Pro’s: big hero image, consistency.
    Proposals:
    1. I think they could test a different message that continues the one in the email, to be more like a conversation. Something like “Share. Accelerate. Win” -> “Be a champion. It’s your turn!”
    2. What’s in it for me?
    “Get a chance to win”. What? WIn this and this, do that and that. Winning is a good idea, but winning something you aspire at, is a great idea.

    • Kathryn Aragon says:
      August 16, 2013 at 9:00 am

      Great ideas, Valentin! Thanks for sharing.

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